As a follow up to my post on "finishing" things I am sharing some of the calm and wisdom that fluttered about me last week. And by flutter I mean flapped its little full of feather duck wings at me and left me feeling like a dazed cartoon character.
I started off a photographer. I did that self taught too. I've never worked in a dark room - and I started before digital was everywhere. The result was that right after I clicked that shutter button, my part in the process for that one frame, that one piece, was done. I had chosen my exposure, my composition and there was nothing else to be done for that one. I could take another and make new choices but the lab would process my film and I would yay or nay my stack and live to hike and photograph another day.
Then came digital. I went too far. I let my technical choices in the moment slip as I thought to myself, oh I'll just fix it later. After all it was raw. It was nothing but pixels and data. As long as I didn't have a blown out over exposed zero in the data, there was nothing I couldn't fix, right? Nope, not so much true.
Along comes drawing and I have no skill so I scribble and scratch my emotions onto a page with little thought to the proportions of a nose or the shadows and depth of the corner of the room. I just let it out. Little by slowly I get better at the noses, proportions, shadows, highlights, lights and darks. Now I swing in the other direction and each effort has to be just right. You can see how unfortunate the land of the black and white artist can be. Either extreme and I struggle to be happy with the work.
I get so caught up on outcome that I forget that this is an exercise in trust as well creation.
This is me remembering to stop putting so much focus on the outcome and start trusting more in the process.